Why?
by LovekillRealm
Summary: Konan thinks on the death of her beloved after he is killed.


**I don't own Naruto okay? This is a drabble-esque fic I came up with after watching an AMV on YouTube featuring this pairing. Can you guess who I shipped with Konan in this fic? Anyway, I want to hear what you thought it was before you found out in the end. Well enough with the A/N, on with the fic!**

_Konan's P.O.V_

Why must it be? Why must it be so that every man I ever cared about is taken from me in some way? Now the man I love is dead. Deader than dead. Why must this be? I love him. I loved him so much. He was torn from my arms. Why must it be? What did I do to deserve this? Maybe Hidan was right about Jashin and I am being punished. I don't know. I frankly don't care anymore. With him gone, I don't know what to do. I loved him! Is Akatsuki worth this? Why didn't I stop him!? Why? I could have said something to Pein and saved him! Is this all worth it? I hate myself now! Why did not tell him how I felt? How could I assume that he would be here forever?

I guess I took him for granted. He was one of the best in the Akatuski. My love, my darling, the reason I kept going on in this pointless battle. We are working to bring peace to the world and end war. However, the way Pein wanted to end the war was one I could hardly go with. I only went with the Akatsuki plan to achieve the dream. I felt the ends could maybe justify the means. Shinobi are tools of their village. The man I loved was one who knew this all too well. All the betrayals he committed were for the better good. I wish I could have been the one who helped him as to his partner.

His partner often got in our way. He was a good fighter, no wonder he was picked for the Akatuski. Ruthless, cold-blooded and a killer. They seemed like total opposites and it was doubtful that they would work together. Yet, somehow by a miracle, they got along. He was the one who kept them together as a team. He was a strong man, even though he didn't look like it. If one was rather arrogant and naïve, they would not think him as strong a man as he was. His skill and talent were one that attracted me to him in the first place.

That face of his attracted me to him as well. He was so cold yet there was a hint of love in his eyes. He never really looked around at girls much in his career as a shinobi in his home village. Tobi did tell me however that he did think that maybe…just maybe I caught his eye one day at a meeting. I hope I did, I know I wasn't trying to anyway. Pein never approved much of me dating the others in the Akatsuki. He said it detracted from the missions at hand. Our love was secret and it had to be that way. It was so secret; it was an unspoken kind of love.

I knew he was younger than me by a good 10 years, but that didn't matter, we loved each other. He headed out to his final mission, one he said he had to do himself, with little concern for himself. I told him it was dangerous and in his state, he shouldn't do it. He wouldn't listen to me. Now he is dead and I don't know how to take it. If only I had said something of how I felt, he may have not done that insane and suicidal mission.

I hope his spirit can forgive me. Why did I not tell him? Was I afraid to lose him? Was I afraid that he wouldn't return my feelings? Was I afraid of what the rest of the Akatuski would think? Was I afraid of Pein? Whatever it was, it held me back from happiness. I am sure if I could have been in his arms again before his death, I would not be feeling so hard on myself on this. I feel horrible and now I can never get this demon of my chest. Love is not one that I do not understand, nor will I ever.

I am sorry I never could have given you my love, and I am sorry I could not let him no where near my heart. Itachi Uchiha, may you rest in the next life happier than you were in this one. All I know is you are never coming home…never coming home.

**Can you guess the song from the AMV? Anyway it was an ItaKon vid featuring My Chemical Romance's Ghost of You song. I was watching the original, before TFU YouTube changed it. I think there should be more ItaKon fics out there. Anyway, I hope you liked it. I also hope you remember to read, (well you just did) and review. **


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